Hvad har drevet Kylo Ren til at blive så sur og tvær at han er gledet over til Den Mørke Side? Det er et af de store ubesvarede spørgsmål, der trænger sig på efter ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’.
Indtil videre må vi vente til maj 2017 for at få svar, men måske har en hyperpopulær Twitter-parodikonto allerede givet svaret. Kontoen har i løbet af en uges tid samlet over 400.000 følgere.
Herfra vælter det med spoilers, så træd varsomt.
Twitter-kontoen @Kylo_R3n tager tykt pis på hans opvækst og ungdom, hvor livet som søn af Han og Leia viser sig mindre idyllisk end ventet. En del af det tager del som strøtanker i en dagbog, andet som små bidder af hverdagen for den plagede pre-Sith med en stor forkærlighed for alt, der har med Morfar Vader at gøre.
Darth Vader had no father I envy him
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
i hate sand grandpa was right it gets everywhere — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
*force-slams his bedroom door*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
*spends a whole afternoon unsuccessfully struggling to open a cling-wrapped My Chemical Romance cd* — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 23. december 2015
when Darth Vader changed his name i bet they were jerks about it too people are small like that
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 25. december 2015
current status: in a sarlacc pit but emotionally — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 25. december 2015
*constructs a new lightsaber to cut the crusts off his sandwiches*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 26. december 2015
*comes downstairs in pajamas* *clears throat* there’s been an awakening are there pancakes? — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
Det er særligt farmand, der er kilden til Kylo Rens liv i helvede.
my dad owns too many vests
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
there is no way that han shot first han is a coward — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
my dad thinks he’s so good at fixing things but he isn’t really Darth Vader could fix anything
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 27. december 2015
just once i wish my dad would respond to “I love you” with “I love you too” mom too for that matter — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 23. december 2015
dad said i remind him of jabba’s palace because i have a little rancor in me it felt like he’d planned it mom didn’t think it was that funny
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 27. december 2015
ugh parsecs are units of distance DAD — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 28. december 2015
my dad just knocked over my model Death Star and broke it but he did not apologize he said people should stop making Death Stars I’m shaking
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 26. december 2015
Derudover må det tilsyneladende have været forfærdeligt for en usikker, selvbevidst og kontrær knøs at dele sin hverdag med en over to meter høj, behåret wookie og Onkel Lando virker også som et rigtigt røvhul.
dad the wookiee used all my garnier fructis — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 23. december 2015
*indignantly removes wookiee hair from his black outfit with a lint roller* dad i told you that couch was off limits to him
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 23. december 2015
uncle lando said my helmet made me look like a depressed lampshade and then everyone laughed and high-fived him i hate this family so much — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 25. december 2015
Til gengæld er det også i de unge år han etablerer mange af de afgørende venskaber for fremtiden. Blandt andet møder han Hux, som han senere bliver gode kolleger med.
dear diary i met a guy at lunch named hux he has read nietzche he says he says everyone should read nietzche
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 21. december 2015
dear diary I told hux I did not think much of his name for our band he said I should go solo I told him never to mention that name again — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
dear diary hux got me a poster of darth vader for my locker i already have one just like it but bigger however, i appreciated the thought
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 24. december 2015
dear diary today hux and I took a quiz to find our hogwarts houses he got slytherin I got hufflepuff the first time but it was a mistake — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 25. december 2015
hux and I are building a new Death Star in place of the one that broke hux says if we don’t it lets them win it will be the same but bigger
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 27. december 2015
Twitter-kontoen giver også konkrete hints til et slægtskab til den nævenyttige Rey, der optræder i en del af Kylo Rens opdateringer.
*hands Rey an xbox controller* it’s cool if you don’t beat it the first try i didn’t you have to really learn and practice *rey beats it* — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
*hands Rey a crossword* don’t worry if it takes a while Wednesday puzzles can be a bit challengi– *Rey hands back the completed puzzle*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 22. december 2015
sorry Rey no bottle openers but don’t worry i know this great Force trick *concentrates fiercely* “Kylo this one is a twist-off” — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) 23. december 2015
Kylo Rens vrede i ‘The Force Awakens’ passer utroligt godt sammen med en fortid som sortklædt, misforstået emo. Hvor meget plet parodikontoen egentlig rammer, må vi venter halvandet år med at finde ud af.
Læs også: Digi-snack: Darth Vader knækker skateboards og tæver børn i ond julemandssketch